Sweden and Me

Yesterday it just dawned on me that I will never ever adapt or integrate or belong (call it what you want) in the Swedish society. It is simply so very different not just from my culture (because this can change over time) but also from my personality, from the way I am... I will never fit in, never understand or more importantly never like "their" ways. A cold polite arrogance - that is what I get as the main feature of Swedish social behavior (except when alcohol is involved). A distant political correctness that covers up feelings of superiority and a super-exclusivist attitude. Blah!

I wonder if there is a place on this Earth where I can imagine myself as "fitting". Certainly not Romania, where I feel almost as much an outsider as here... The US... Maybe, not as a whole, but in its special parallel universes. That is what I liked about the US, the fact that you could create your own special society, your "bubble", and that you could live all your life surrounded by people and things that you more or less chose. The US is big enough for everybody - a platitude, yes, but nevertheless an accurate description. But then you don't actually live in the reality, you have some form of extended "ivory tower" - and perhaps this is lacking authenticity.

Or maybe there is some other spot on this planet that I have not yet visited and that would immediately feel like home. In fact, I believe that for the most part home is in one's head (except for situations of extremely adverse social conditions).